Genuine Relationships and LinkedIn: The Power of Real Social Capital ~via Midy Aponte-Vargas
Love this from Midy Aponte-Vargas, thank you so much for sharing Midy… a topic near and dear to my heart.
Relationships are like muscle tissue, the more you engage them, the stronger and more valuable they become.
RETURN ON RELATIONSHIP adds more to ROI than meets the eye. /Ted
Recently, right as I’m growing Civil Strategies, I made a decision that felt both long overdue and deeply necessary: I removed over 1,000 contacts from my LinkedIn network. 😳 Wild, right!?
I mean: some removals were easy—names I didn’t recognize, people I had never met, connections that existed in name only. Others were harder. Not because we had a strong bond, but because I realized the connection had been built on something transactional. A "leveraging" of our connection, just enough to get what was needed—an introduction, an endorsement, a moment of proximity—without a genuine relationship underneath it.
But then there were the ones I kept.
You who are the person I once met for coffee that turned into a two-hour conversation about work, life, and why so many “innovative” initiatives feel like the same old thing, repackaged.
You who are the friend or colleague who took the time out of your day to listen to me, and give me sound advice—and who challenges my thinking and stays in my corner when it counts.
You who are the one who sent a response to an email that made me pause, take a breath, and feel seen. An invite to go for a walk, a "happy birthday," a "congrats on your latest endeavor." Even when AI fills the content for us, the gesture behind it warms the heart.
You who are the person I’ve watched move from one position to another, growing into your leadership, just as you’ve watched me build Civil—cheering each other on through Likes, Celebrations, and those quiet “I see what you’re doing, keep going” moments.
You who are the person who knows my voice, and gets my jokes about the absurdity of this work—who also knows that despite the frustrations, we keep showing up because we care too much to walk away.
You who are the amazing content creator, that inspires me, and gives me the motivation I need on that day to keep going. And the ones who share information selflessly, that compels me to pass it forward to someone I know who is looking for "just that."
You who are doing big things! Forging new paths and forcing new ways of thinking to a very stale, and very formulaic, world. You are the ones I aspire to be like. The ones that leave me mesmerized by your courage, and give me enough boost to try to do the same on my end.
And let’s be real: You who are the one who has stayed connected despite my inconsistent responses (yes, I know I still owe you a reply—thank you for your patience).
The Power of Genuine Relationships
We talk a lot about “networking” as if it’s a numbers game. More connections, more access, more visibility. I've presented countless times to college students about the importance of social capital. But what I’ve learned—what I think many of us know deep down—is that real value isn’t found in a bloated contact list. It’s in the depth of relationships, not the breadth.
Genuine relationships are the real currency of professional life. They are social capital in its most meaningful form. Unlike transactional networks, where connections dissolve the moment they are no longer useful, real relationships compound in value over time. They create trust, reciprocity, and shared investment in each other’s success.
This kind of social capital isn’t built on perfectly crafted LinkedIn messages or mutual endorsements. It’s built in the moments that reveal character. It’s when someone makes a referral without expecting anything in return. When they check in, not because they need something, but because they care. When they vouch for you, not because it benefits them, but because they know, and believe in, your work.
Choosing Quality Over Quantity
For years, social platforms like LinkedIn have encouraged us to believe that more is better. But if more connections meant more opportunity, then why do so many of us still feel unseen and unheard? The truth is, connection without relationship, is just noise.
So I made the choice to clear the noise. I removed the contacts that felt superficial, and I kept the ones who reminded me why connection matters in the first place. And I made a commitment to be a better and more genuine contact to those I know I’ve let down in some way. Expect a friendly hello soon—no strings attached.
Relationships—real ones—require care, attention, and reciprocity. If I value genuine connection, then I need to show up for the people who have done the same for me.
I did this precisely as Civil is evolving. When I left my hometown at 26 to move to Washington, DC, a close friend gave me one simple advice that I've kept close to my heart this whole while: surround yourself with good people. And that, I will continue to do.
As I build and grow, I want to be intentional about who is part of this journey. This isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about intention. It’s you—because in the end, real relationships aren’t just good for business. They’re good for the soul.
Of course, over time, my contact list will probably grow again. That’s the nature of work, of new collaborations, of the endless ways we cross paths in this space. And when that happens, I hope I’ll be just as intentional, just as reflective.
However, for today, and to you who remain on my feed—thank you. For your generosity, your thoughtful conversations, your referrals, your collaborations, and your support. For the late-night brainstorming sessions, the inside jokes, the venting over impossible deadlines, and the knowing glances across the conference room.
You who are here—we'll get through it all together. 💪🏼
